- App Store Info
DescriptionHorrorscopes is a weekly divination of the nefarious, demonic, and poisonous the heavens have prescribed for each symbol on the zodiac wheel. It warns of the harms and hurts that modern life has crouching around future corners.
Horrorscopes warns you of:
• Doors not to open
• Phones not to answer
• Strangers to avoid
• Nights to stay home
• Days when staying home could be deadly
• Relatives with ill intentions
• Contagious food offerings
• Lovers packing creepy crawlies
Check it first thing every Monday morning.
It also has special holiday updates to aid in your travel planning.
Life is not jade peaks capped with creamy clouds that obscure beatific alfresco bistros populated with pretty people lapping lattes over crafty conversations. Life is a treacherous tango with diabolicals down a dark lane past harbingers of doom who violently argue Armageddon with zombie parking meters. No my friend, life is ugly and full of peril.
My name is Mista P., and for 1100 years I have been warning those who would heed my predictions. Beholding the sickly underbelly of the world and things that crawl from the grave is my curse. If you give credence to my visions, much suffering can you avoid. My missing eye sees that tweaking circus clown hiding in the alley with an awl that used to keep the tilt-a-whirl tilting. It sees that piece of viral sushi that has been hiding in the case. It also sees that no-good spouse who has been night bowling with the blonde that smiles so cute when she hands him those green and red shoes.
So make the choice to be forewarned and let my new friends at Propaganda3 assist you in the continuation of a healthy lifestyle by getting this thing they call Horrorscopes sent to your iPhone or iTouch every week. Do it before it’s you looking up at the coroner with a vacant stare. Don’t become one of his favorite stories.
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