4 things wrong with the Nintendo Switch

By , on October 21, 2016
Last modified 7 years, 5 months ago

So Nintendo finally revealed the NX - and it's called the Switch. But let's gloss over the somewhat obvious naughty jokes for now, and concentrate on the console itself.

It's rubbish.

I mean, we knew that already. The Wii U failed, the Wii was hated, and further back than that it doesn't bear thinking about.

And as for the Nintendo Switch? Well, it's basically a Wii U but, because it has to be mobile, it has worse graphics, right? It has a number of problems. Five of them, in fact. Here they are!

It'll cost a bomb

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With the very nature of being a 'console in your pocket', you've got to squeeze a lot of power into a very small space. That, of course, sends the cost skyrocketing. We've also learned the Nintendo Switch is housing Nvidia's custom, high end Tegra processor, as well as "an NVIDIA GPU based on the same architecture as the world’s top-performing GeForce gaming graphics cards."

That kind of firepower doesn't come cheap. Add in the fact you'll probably lose those controllers (or Joy-Cons, as they insist on being called - dreadful name) and that'll be another £60 to replace those, thanks.

I'd be surprised if the Switch comes in under £350, and that's a lot to be spending on your second console.

I mean, come on. You're not buying one instead of a PS4 / Xbox One, are you?

I don't play games in the ways Nintendo thinks I do

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The Switch trailer Nintendo released showed people playing games on planes, at home, at their other home, whilst walking the dog, at a basketball match, while karting, and in an eSports team.

I don't know about you, but I can't remember the last time I called a time out in a basketball match to play a game of virtual basketball instead with three of my mates. Nor am I an an eSports team. Nor do I neglect my dog to squeeze in a bit of Zelda.

I'm becoming increasingly sure Nintendo is marketing the Switch at purely the twelve rich people in the trailer. Sound business model, that.

The controllers look rubbish

Nintendo Switch

The two slidey, flimsy-looking, minute sides to the portable form of Switch look dreadful. Like a Wii controller (which everybody loved, right?) but smaller - meaning more hand cramps - these things look uncomfortable, cheap, and destined for the back of the sofa or the bottom of a drain in a year's time.

There is a pro controller though! You know, like the one no-one bought for the Wii or Wii U, either. The one that will cost extra. The one that looks like a knock off Xbox 360 controller from Argos. Yeah, that one.

It's made by Nintendo

Nintendo Switch

By far the Switch's biggest problem, however, is the fact that Nintendo is the company making it. Nintendo makes great games, but when was the last time they made a genuinely great bit of hardware?

The Wii sold gangbusters, but in hindsight it was a bit crap, wasn't it?

The Wii U? Not with that dinner tray.

3DS? Yeah, 3D is all the rage.

DS? Mine snapped in half so definitely nope.

GameCube? Hellllll no.

You have to go all the way back to the Game Boy Advance to find a good Nintendo console.

And even that took them two attempts to get right!