It's time to dim the lights down low in the old brain-box because 'HECTOR: Badge of Carnage Episode 1' by Straandlooper starts in the gutter and only gets lower. That isn't to say that being gross or immature can't be funny, but comparing this straight adventure game to the Leisure Suit series will give you a good indicator of where we're at.
Set in the grimy, crime center of Britain, Detective Inspector Hector is like watching a young Joe Don Baker reprising his role as Mitchell for a UK audience. He's crass, he's low-brow, but he's the only cop left to handle a negotiation stand-off. Touching the screen will let you move around and examine world objects, while double tapping will interact with them. Objects can be combined in your inventory and a bit of lateral thinking always helps.
The game boasts over two thousand spoken lines of dialogue and while there are a few rough voice-acting moments there's plenty of great interactions to smooth things out. HECTOR features full-animated cut-scenes and excellent in-game artwork that might be a bit too detailed for some, but it's nice to see dedicated attention to detail.
As the first in a potential series Hector will only take a few hours of scratching your noggin to finish. It may be low-brow, but it's also great fun to play through, especially if you've grown up with classics like Sam and Max or the Leisure Suit series.
Description
*** Silver Medal Winner for BEST GAME SERIES in 2011 Best App Ever Awards! ***
Listen up, meatsacks... EPISODE 2 & 3 are now available from TELLTALE GAMES to all you slobbering filthy-minded drunks who've been banging down our door. Go buy a copy. It'll make us happy, if not yourself.
Anyway, no doubt you’ve been waiting years for a half-decent game to show up in the Adventure category of the App Store. Well, this is it. Half-decent, as promised.
#1 ROLE PLAYING GAME in the USA, UK and around 20 OTHER COUNTRIES. Made a couple of top 100 lists, won a few awards, captivated the attention of zillions, etc. etc. No idea why, really, but we're rather chuffed about it to say the least.
EPISODE 1: WE NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS
When a hostage crisis erupts in the centre of Clappers Wreake, only one man has the diplomatic finesse to defuse a simmering situation before it boils over into a stew of butchery and bloodshed: Detective Inspector Hector. He’s all they’ve got. Literally. All the other negotiators are dead. Hector has a choice to make: carry out the terrorist’s curiously altruistic demands, or watch as his fellow officers are picked off one by one. Hector’s still on the fence.
Stagger a drunken mile through the Crime Capital of Britain in the size 9s of Detective Inspector Hector: part criminalist, part kebab-fiend, all cop.
Do all the things you’ve dreamed about: hit a tramp with a crowbar, steal a young man’s trousers, kick a drug addict into a cardboard box, enter a pornshop without embarrassment, carry a designer handbag... all in the name of justice, and all in spectacular ground-breaking 2D.
Did we mention? It’s not for kids.
This isn’t one of those bog-standard Oh-god-where-am-I-how-did-I-get-here-there’s-a-screwdriver-in-a-desk-drawer type escape games that the interweb seems to be infested with nowadays. HECTOR:BADGE OF CARNAGE takes you back to the glory days of the point 'n click graphic adventure: nonsensical inventory items, favour-hungry reprobates, and a relentless stream of witty one-liners.
WHAT YOU GET:
- 18 sordid, filthy, rundown locations
- 23 well-developed & witty characters (+ 1 stinking drunk)
- 40 Inventory items (includes Free Lubricant!)
- 397 interactive objects
- 2421 spoken lines of dialogue
- Cinematic cutscenes
- Original score
- A good few hours worth of low action puzzle-solving gameplay
WHAT WE GET:
- Your cash.
Look, we honestly don’t care if you like it. We just want you to buy it.
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Here's what people are saying about HECTOR: BADGE OF CARNAGE...
"Lewd. Crude. Gross. And a great throwback to classic adventures." - IGN, Editors' Choice Award 2010
"Brilliant... Yes it really is that good..." - Eurogamer, 9/10
“...Wish I could give it two five star ratings...This is one of the best produced, most polished games I've played on this platform. Great graphics, animation, and voice acting; the controls are perfect, and the puzzles so far (I have yet to leave the environs of the police station) have been fairly easy but funny as hell. Reminds me a bit of a 2D Sam and Max adventure but much, much nastier...”
“...Omg. What a game, what a game. Love the humor love the animation love the everything about this. My only fear is it might be over quickly cuz I'm having so much fun...”
“...I can't believe how damn perfect this game is...”
"...I've never been so shocked at a game before. Never have I felt so immersed in a 2d game. Never have I laughed so much in one room of a game. Never have I seen more creative puzzle and dialogue. GET IT GET IT GET IT..."
"...This game is funnier than a vegetable that has grown into a rude and amusing shape!"
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Episode 2 & 3 out now! Find out more at www.telltalegames.com/hector
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Follow Hector on Twitter: @diHector
What's New in Version 1.3
Updated for iOS7, because studies show that people with iOS7 like to watch the cutscenes as much as everybody else.
Everything else is exactly the same, just the way you hate it (Unless Apple deprecated something else while I was off solving a case, or drunk).
By the way, if you're still using an iOS3 phone with Hector on it, don't update. In fact, don't do anything. You're probably very old and resistant to change. Someone will be by soon to take you to a care home soon enough.
$3.99
