In case you've been living under a rock, which is also at the bottom of the sea that happens to be on a far flung planet in a different dimension, Apple revealed the iPhone 7 last week.
It's already attracted its fair share of controversy, and for good reason - it's a mess. Here's why.
1. The design
It's basically the iPhone 6S (or the 6…), but you can get it in black now! Yay! Groundbreaking!
How are people supposed to be jealous of my decadence when my new shiny thing looks exactly the same as their old shiny thing?! UGH!
2. The home button
Everyone knows the only good bit about the iPhone is the satisfying click when you hit the home button.
Well, say goodbye to that: that clicky old friend is gone, to be replaced by a touch sensitive panel, apparently so you can give many commands with different forces of tap.
3. The camera
Alongside various improvements, the 7 Plus's camera now has a partner in crime on the back, in the shape of another camera, for fiddling with depth of field settings in photos.
Firstly, why not stick this in the standard 7, too? And if you're going to have a second lens back there, they may as well have set them apart by another inch and made it capable of proper 3D pictures.
The 3DS did it, cheaply, years ago! Come on, Apple.
4. iOS 10
It seems Apple have either run of ideas, or are resting on their laurels, because iOS 10 is only a small step up from iOS 9.
The bulk of the improvements come in the form of changes to messaging, with stuff like gifs and stickers being added. Stuff that's been in Facebook Messenger for years, basically.
These little beauties are amazing. What they are, right, are wireless headphones, which means you get worse quality audio and they're liable to fall out your ears and get lost down the back of the sofa / down a drain / inside the dog.
Then, when you come to replace them, they'll cost you £159 / $159! Kudos, Apple, you've done it again.
6. No headphone port
Apple's genius knows no bounds.
Imagine actually taking away functionality, and passing it off as saving space. If you want to something as radical as listen to music while charging your phone (which you'll have to do a lot of - it's an iPhone, after all) you now have to use about seven different adapters, like this:
And yet, despite all its problems, the iPhone 7 will get lapped up. Because Apple fans are idiots.