I don't think I could hold my own in a big manly man talk about football down the pub. The current state of the Premier League is a mystery to me, and the only thing I know about the most recent World Cup is that this Brazilian man is very sad for some reason.
But that hasn't stopped me loving the heck out of Uppercup Football.
You have to get the ball from one end of the pitch to the other and score a goal, like other games of soccer, but in your way are vikings, minefields, shrubbery, and all manner of other obstacles. It's all controlled by just one button, and getting a red card results in having a paper bag put on your head. Also one of my players looks like Skrillex. Awesome.
Uppercup Football is simple, silly, and stupendously good fun. Take a look at my hands-on video below, then rush out and grab it from the App Store now.