While the identity of the Premier League footballer purported to have shared relations with E-lister Imogen Thomas remains a mystery to all*, there's no secret whatsoever to First Touch Soccer's success.
Exient's franchise reboot stepped onto the iPhone turf barely a week ago, and impressed Andrew from kick-off to the final whistle, netting a fabulous 5 out of 5 rating.
But like any good management team, Exient haven’t rested on their laurels during the post-season, for they've already refreshed their First Touch Soccer squad via an update.
The biggest addition to the First Touch Soccer team is unquestionably the universal build feature, meaning that iPad players can enjoy an experience tailored to their 10-inch screen.
In addition, goalies have undergone rigorous one-on-one training sessions with Peter Schmeichel to improve their shot stopping skills, while the online matchmaking system has been stabilised.
After receiving the hairdryer treatment from their customers on the App Store, Exient have also given the green light for Dream Team builders to use their fantasy XI in multiplayer mode.
You can still grab First Touch Soccer for 99c. Do it...now!
*Twitter users and readers of the Sunday Herald excluded.